Can you miss the life you'll never have ?

Kamppi shopping centre, Helsinki.

Farwell. La nave che ci ha portato da Helsinki a Rostock, alla fine di novembre 2007.
Una delle più grandi avventure. Inseguire un sogno a 3500km da qui. Essere riportati indietro da mille diverse ragioni e necessità. Un sordo rimpianto, forse orgoglio ferito, forse nostalgia, forse amore per una terra lontana, per una vita diversa, chissà ...

La speranza, in un fiore, in un sorriso, in un alba, nel domani, nei miei preziosissimi bambini ...

Scuola familiare : -2

Il 31 marzo è alle porte. Avremo l'ennesimo incontro con la preside della scuola elementare per vedere se è possibile ritirare subito i bambini da scuola o se far partire l'homeschooling dal prossimo anno. O meglio. So che è possibile ritirarli in ogni momento, MA non mi va di agire in contrapposizione con la scuola, dunque se ci fanno problemi per i restanti due mesi stringerò i denti facendo tesoro del tempo in più per preparare i programmi e scegliere i libri.
Se non ci sono problemi invece il 3 aprile sarà l'ultimo giorno di frequenza per le tre melucce maggiori, per questi due mesi mi limiterò a finire i programmi iniziati utilizzando i loro libri di testo.
Per il prossimo anno ho intenzione di seguire un modello Steineriano di scuola familiare. Ho trovato risorse in rete sui programmi da seguire e molti spunti posso prenderli dalla scuola finlandese ( abbiamo ancora l'orario di Gaia e su quello possiamo lavorare ).
Abbiamo trovato alcune persone, in rete e non, che ci appoggiano anche se il grossissimo scoglio di dirlo in famiglia non l'abbiamo ancora affrontato. So già che soprattutto da parte della mia famiglia d'origine ci sarà moltissimo risentimento e sarà fonte di ennesimi giudizi negativi, sperò che il tempo darà ragione a me. Lo spero per me e per i bambini :)
Tempo di preparare la cena ora.
Buona settimana a tutti !
Flavia

Ah !

Happy birthday dear Mrs K, the Gas gang wish you all the best for many many years to come.

We all love you :)

Working wood

Oh my what busy days. All the kids took turns being sick with streptococcus, first Milla 2 weeks ago, still recovering. Then 2 days later Seba, then 2 days after Seba Milla got sick again and 2 days after her it's been Leo's turn. Then yesterday evening Gaia had headache and i checked her temperature to find out it was almost 40°C ! It was around 4 years that Gaia doesn't get any kind of illness and to see her lay in bed all day long half asleep has been really hard. Hopefully she'll be fine for her birthday next week.
Of course these day i don't have any time to get pics of our everyday life, but i found a folder named 'working wood' with some very nice pics of the kids.
The love of handmaking and homemaking is one of the things that i want absolutely to pass them, so i'm especially proud when they already show some kind of attitude in that direction.




Leo needed a shelf for his working tools and Seba and Milla helped him. The reward ? Playing of course ;)





Gaia and Seba cutting wood for the stove. All the kids take very seriously looking for and cutting the wood and keeping the fire on. It amazing how much they can learn just from everyday life, just letting them following us and participate fully to the family life. That's why i'm so thrilled at the idea of homeschooling them :)

Scuola Familiare - Prove Generali ( Homeschooling )

Milla e Leo sono a casa convalescenti. Visto che sono di nuovo sul vivace ho pensato di fare le prove generali, anche se al 50% ( dei figli intendo ;) ).
Dopo aver portato Gaia e Seba allo scuolabus ho sistemato letti e cucina, steso e piegato mentre Leo e Milla facevano colazione e si divagavano un pò. Per le 8:30 circa la casa era decente il tavolo sgombro ed i figli pronti. Leo ha completato una paginetta di un bel libro 'didattico' che Gaia gli ha comprato sabato al mercato ( la pagina della G ) dopodichè ho inventato una attività che ha avuto un discreto successo : la collana guidata. Ho preso le nostre perlone di legno di varie forme e misure e le perline di plastica di Ikea. Ho preparato poi un foglio per Leo ed uno per Milla con le istruzioni da seguire.
A Milla ho disegnato le perline che aveva a dispozione e poi ho disegnato la sequenza che doveva realizzare con la richiesta di ripetere due volte l'intera sequenza per completare il suo 'gioiello'. Ha così dovuto riconoscere forme e colori, classificare le perle e seguire la sequenza data. Ha allenato la motricità fine per pescare le perline dalla ciotolina e la coordinazione occhio-mano per infilarle. Ha poi dovuto contare quante perle di ogni tipo doveva prendere.



A Leo invece ho scritto le istruzioni, descrivendo le perle che aveva a disposizione e scrivendo la sequenza, dunque ha fatto un bel pò di lettura. Inoltre spesso il numero di perle da prendere l'ho espresso con semplici operazioni ( 2+3 perle rosse ) e così abbiamo fatto un pò di matematica. Ha inoltre dovuto comprendere la descrizione e classificare le perle ( grandi, medie, piccole, piccolissime, quadrate, lisce, a righe ) visto che le richieste erano del tipo 2+1 perle gialle grandi tonde. La sequenza andava ripetuta per 3 volte o fino alla fine del filo.



Tutti e due hanno portato a termine il compito, Milla ha finito prima avendo solo due ripetizioni da fare ed ha deciso di aiutare Leo che nel frattempo, finita la prima sequenza aveva trovato autonomamente una strategia per far prima : invece di leggere guardava la sequeza già infilata. Leo diceva a Milla quali e quante perle prendere,lei le prendeva e lui le infilava facendo un bel lavoro di gruppo spontaneo.
Io sono stata con loro tutto il tempo parlando e godendomeli. Certo non penso che in regime di scuola familiare si riesca ad organizzare sempre attività così piacevoli ed accattivanti, ci saranno magari momenti più nozionistici ma credo che in ogni caso si possano trovare mille spunti per apprendere facendo le attività più svariate. Ho ancora in mente una mia amica Americana, homeschooler convinta da anni ormai, che ha insegnato a leggere alle sue figlie con i testi delle sue canzoni preferite, non riesco quasi a credere che con Milla forse mi sarà possibile fare la stessa cosa :))

Just talking about our day. Milla and Leo are at home ( they've been sick ) and i homeschooled them a bit today, some practice before hopefully starting homeschooling them full time in the near future. They did the necklaces following instructions i gave them ( they had to read, count, do some math ... )

"Un viaggio di mille miglia inizia con un solo passo" - Lao Tse

Mi accingo a muovere il primo passo dunque. Fino ad oggi il mio blog era esclusivamente in Inglese, una finestra sulla nostra vita a beneficio degli amici lontani. Questo è il primo post in Italiano. Perchè ? Perchè sono, siamo, alle soglie di una nuova intensa avventura nella nostra vita, la scuola familiare, e la storia di questo percorso, che non so dove ci condurrà, può esprimersi sicuramente meglio nella mia lingua madre.
Come dicevo il 31 marzo avremo l'ultimo incontro con la preside della scuola elementare,speriamo il decisivo, quello che ci permetta di ritirare Gaia Leo e Seba da scuola e di istruirli a casa. Sono eccitata, felice, spaventata, euforica e smarrita allo stesso tempo all'idea di questa nuova sfida nella quale mi sono gettata a capofitto.
Mi sento sulle montagne russe. Ho 33 anni. Ho 4 figli. La grande avrà 9 anni fra 9 giorni e nove anni fa sono stata proprio io a mandarla al nido a 3 mesi per 8 ore al giorno. A nutrirla con latte artificiale. A darle omogeneizzati a gogo'. A mia discolpa posso solo dire che non avevo mai sentito parlare di nient'altro. Internet non c'era. Il mainstream invece fluiva come un fiume in piena da giornali riviste e televisione, da parenti e vicini ''beneintenzionati''. Da qualunque parte insomma.
Non so neanche come, durante l'ultima gravidanza, 6 anni fa ormai, ho cominciato a trovare risorse in rete che mi parlavano di altri modi ed altre vie. E da allora mi sono sentita sempre in viaggio. A volte in corsa, fresca riposata e con entusiasmo. A volte arrancando piena di dubbi e perplessità, stanca per una salita più lunga del previsto. Ma sempre in movimento. Mai più ferma su un concetto. Mai più passiva esecutrice di un mainstream che non sentivo mio. Ma MADRE.
Il cambiamento ha riguardato principalmente le mie priorità. Il rapporto con i miei figli. Il lavoro fuori casa l'ho accantonato, anzi dimenticato. Non lo sento più mio.
Il tempo pieno ? Mai più. A scuola il meno possibile. Empatia ed amore al primo posto. Almeno ci provo.
Poi il cambiamento ha travolto altri aspetti della mia\nostra esistenza. Niente più televisione.Rifiuto del superfluo. Frugalità. Semplicità. Ritorno alle origini. Alle radici. Pane in casa. Pizza in casa. Dolci in casa. E poi l'orto e le conserve. E poi le marmellate. E poi la lana, i ferri l'uncinetto. Ed ora anche i vestiti. Semplici, cuciti con amore. Comodi. Come li ho sempre sognati per i miei bambini.
Un ultimo rimpianto : l'homeschooling. Amore a prima vista avvenuto all'inizio del mio percorso. La scelta che amavo ma che pensavo mi fosse legalmente preclusa. E poi, poche settimane fa la scoperta della sua perfetta legalità in Italia. Ed eccomi in corsa, a grandi falcate, a presentare domande e chiedere incontri e sperare. E' l'inizio di un viaggio. Navigo a vista, Ma sono felice come non lo ero mai stata nella vita.

Dal mio '' Household Daybook' di venerdì :
«Sii il cambiamento che vuoi vedere avvenire nel mondo.» (Mahatma Gandhi)

E' un magico momento e sento questo parole vere. Sento che questa è la strada, questa è la via. Io sono così. Io sono la vita che faccio. Il cibo che cucino, i vestiti che cucio, l'amore con cui amo. Non posso essere altrimenti. Non voglio essere altrimenti. Sono in cammino.La mia meta è l'orizzonte.
Grazie Dio.

Easter is coming

Easter is fastly approaching and of course i've already started to put up some new decoration fitting the moment.
On the door i put a nice coloured garlad made with coloured egg shells i did last Easter - actually soon after Easter last year - and stored until now and added some coloured feather.
The my dear sister in law M gave me two polystyrene bells for some patchwork and showed me how to do it and now they're patiently waiting in a wicker basket for some more decorations to join them.
How much i love to take care of our house, of my family. I'm so lucky i can show my love for my family simply fullfilling my call for beautiful things, handworks and womahood ...



Patchworked bells





A simple purple ribbon to hang the garland to the door

The Little Home
Edgar A. Guest

The little house is not too small
To shelter friends who come to call.
Though low the roof and small its space
It holds the Lord's abounding grace,
And every simple room may be
Endowed with happy memory.

The little house, severly plain,
A wealth of beauty may contain.
Within it those who dwell may find
High faith which makes for peace of mind,
And that sweet understanding which
Can make the poorest cottage rich.

The little house can hold all things
From which the soul's contentment springs.
'Tis not too small for love to grow,
For all the joys that mortals know,
For mirth and song and that delight
Which make the humblest dwelling bright.


Have a lovely rest of the week !

Kitchen Garden Update

After little more then a week since when we started the kitchen garden all over again we have noticed that salads and cucumbers are already growing and also the cherry tree is full of sprouts. It's a weird feeling but i find it so moving, such an amazing miracle a new life starting again from a little seed. The small perfect green leaves, i can spend so much time just staring at all this. Life is so precious...

Cherry tree



Salad



Salad



Cucumbers



Our seedbeds on the shelf outside the wooden shelter Fabio built for his jukeboxes.


Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Once again i feel so provided for. So loved.

Flower Girl

My sweet doughter Gaia is having serious issues in school. We don't have videogames or digi-tv actually we don't watch tv at all, we live a very frugal life because we love it this way, we think it's the right thing to do under so many aspect but of course this can cause some problem for the kids, their classmates have fun of them for their homemade bread, homemade cake, homemade clothes and so on and especially Gaia is very lonely and left alone from the kids in her class. While we're doing our best to homeschool them as soon as possible in the meantime we're trying to show her that socialization is not something that happens only in school or with someone her same age, we encourage her to fully live friendships with older persons or younger kids. In this light when she told us she would have loved to spend sometime in the flower shop of her dear aunt M of course we agreed right away. So last saturday Gaia spent the whole evening with her aunt helping her and learning everything she could about the art of flower caring. We met the two of them later on in the karaoke place and Gaia had two roses and a small vase of hyacinth she prepared for me. She had great time and is waiting for next week to go again in the flower shop ( this saturday we're busy .... we'll visit a country house on sell ... you may never know ... ).





Hyacinth

The beautiful roses. I especially like the close up,the beauty and the perfection of the rose is simply amazing

Red Bag - or a finished project :)

So here it is, a finished project that took me only a couple of days to be accomplished. Saturday is the 30th birthday of a friend of ours and i sewed for her a little handbag in her favourite colours and i embroidered her name in front of the bag itself. I like the outcome a lot and i thought i could share the finished view after i posted a pic of the bag halfway the other day.
So here it is :

Over the letter 'I' instead of the little dot i sewed this tiny buttons i had.

Have a good day !

Sewing day !

I'm very happy to say that this morning i could do a lot of things. Beside all the housechores for today and cooking a rather complicated meal for lunch i spent a couple of hours sewing intensively. Today i could finish 1 shirt for Gaia, 1 dress for Milla and a pair of trousers for Leo. With the bag i sewed yesterday evening this makes quite a lot of stuff done and i'm way happy and thanksful.
In the follwoing pics there are also Gaia's dress and Milla's shirt i sewed some days ago.



A birthday present i sewed yesterday


Milla's dress and shirt


Gaia's dress and shirt


Leo is happy of the new trousers ( he wanted to wear them right away ! Made my day !!)

I love sewing ! I'm so happy i could do all this !!!

Siblings

As an unhappy only child i think that having the privilege to witness the precious relationship beetween my kids is something that strikes me deeply. There is a dull pain buried deep ( or not-so-deep ) inside this fatherless lonely only child that i am that still hurts and in a way watching them love each other, and fight each other, and play each other, beside making me happier then words can describe, someway put salt on my wounds since i can fully realize how much i have lost for choices someone else did for me. Anyways. Siblings ....





While Leo is playing with an old Game Boy ( the only kind of video game we have here is this game boy that me and PapaF bought around 15 years ago ... )Milla keeps caressing him and tickling him sweetly

Gaia plays horse with Milla

Family is the most precious thing ever. And in my family i include of course my closer and most dear friends.

MamaF

Bubble Bath or Boys will be Boys

Today Leo and Seba took a bubble bath. They are a really handfull in this period, two almost seven years old can do many silly and irritating things, but also very fun ones....

Leo

Seba

I love them to pieces. I look at them and they're growing so much. I feel like they're slipping through my hands like sand. But still i'm happy to say they're so naive and 'childish' compared to the other kids their age, and i'm so thankful for this. Most probably no TV allowed did the trick in keeping them (relatively :) ) innocent.

Kitchen Garden

This morning Gaia's been home. So we spent some time outside planting our kitchen garden. We have planted the seeds in the little vases, then we'll put the little plants in the ground later on. We found out that this is the best way to defend the seeds from ants. I thought this year to give up the kitchen garden since the house is on sell, but then i thought again and realized that even if ( God willing ) tomorrow someone might out an offer we'll end up spending here all the summer at least so ... last year we had plenty of vegetables and some of the canned goodies are still in my pantry. Anyways, we planted different kinds of salads, tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, onions, peppers, chili peppers, eggplants, basil, sage. Hopefully also this summer we'll be provided of fresh healthy vegetables.
The kitchen garden is completed also by 4 trees ( apple tree :) , apricot, peach, cherry ) but we're keeping them in big vases because we want to move them with us ( hopefully soon ! ).

MamaF

8 marzo 2009

Today is my mother's 68th birthday. She was born in the Women's day and always joked that the cebration has been put today to let the whole world celebrate her :)

As long as i don't get along at all with her ( unfortunately ) and she can't accept at all my ideas and my ways and my beliefs, still she is my mother and today still is for me mom's birthday.

In the afternoon we'll go to her place for a little celebration, i sewed for her a present, a bag for her grocery and a small purse. I was suppose to crochet something but the past week has been way hectic so i'll finish that project for another moment.

Happy Birthday Mom i wish we could be closer then we are i really do. But i can't change and you can't either. Let's put everything away for today and just have a beautiful day ....

Then there is another news, on friday, when Fabio was away in Florence to get another jukebox

(http://www.jukeboxtubeamp.com/ ) Leo lost his second tooth ! He was washing his hands and all of a sudden he rushed back ' Mom the time has come pull my tooth ! ' And boy was he right the tooth came out with no problem ! How could he know ! We have a long tradition of losing teeth during moving ( Gaia started it and usually Fabio misses the 'event' )and having the house on sell we hope to keep up with the tradition ....

On the homeschool front thursday we gave the principal of the elementary school another more detailed official request to take the kids off from school. She is so surprised, as i said before in Italy there is only a handful of families homeschooling and is an unheard practice that most of people think it's even illegal ( but it is not ) and i really believe she doesn't know how to menage this situation. Anyways we gave her some more time and already set another meeting on 31 march, so in case we might take them off after Easter holidays. Please keep us in your prayer and thoughts for this new path we are just about to begin, i'm so excited and scared at the same time, but so willing to begin and keep my children close to me in their learning and growing and to pass them other then knowledge an whole way of thinking, living and mostly believing.

'The education of children is a creative task, more like art then science' (Bruno Bettelheim)

'School is that exile where adults keep the children until they can live in adults' world without bothering them' ( Maria Montessori )

Have an amazing new week !

MamaF

Reflections

My path to spirituality seems to be much more clear nowadays. I can see a thread connecting so many different side of my own life and existence that sometime i'm left speechless in amazment.

Every night before sleeping i read some Bible. I found out that i can find both encouraging words and very clear directive for me to faithfully follow in this moment of my life. Sometime it seems that what i read has been written just for me.

Then i've started reading ( thanks to mr OldfashionEd ) Paulo Coelho as well, and in his writings imbued of searching and spirituality could give me encouragement in my walk as well.

If i look back, the last 4 or 5 years have meant so much for me. I'm such a different person then i was. Yes i was considered a much more successful person back in the days, working outside, having the 'modern' attitude with children, but i was so empty. Frozen food, day care formula and let them cry. But i felt something was badly wrong. life can't be so few. Life's centre can't be on things. Can't be on a job.Can't be in a pub, to a gig . So i started to give up. Give up the ideas that shaped me in my childhood ' housewives are just lazy women'. Give up my training ' women have to work and be economically indipendent so they don't have to get married'. Give up the ' kindergarten should be open also in the night attitude'. Not easy. Leaving behind an whole life. Accepting that you don't accept how you grew up. And then after the darkness .... a new light. I simply opened my heart at some point. And things started moving. Little miracles started happening. I tried, with humble heart and found myself enjoying unknown pleasures in life so fullfilling that no carrer could compete. Baking bread. And cakes. Making jam and canning. Sewing, and decorating and preserving and using a woodstove, making my own clothes and curtains and quilts and blankets, and carnival dresses. And now a step ahead again. One more. Once again opening my heart and accepting. Homeschooling the kids. Fear. Again. Let go. Some more. But now i feel this is the real life. The full life. The right life.

( Carnival dress for Leo, Crocheted and sewed curtains, a dress, doll'sdress, window star )

''And Mary said: "My soul glorifies the Lord

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has been mindful

of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed,

for the Mighty One has done great things for me—

holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,

from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;

he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones

but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things

but has sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel,

remembering to be merciful

to Abraham and his descendants forever,

even as he said to our fathers

(Luke 1:46-56)


MamaF